in 2005, enidd, the man and their two beloved big black dogs drove from france to molvania (land of pork and cheese). they took up residence in kernib, the capital. enidd may reminisce fondly from time to time about that winning combination, an outside temperature of -27C and a broken boiler. 

in 2007, enidd, the man and their two beloved big black dogs all moved to america, the land of lawyers and the dr. spunkmeirer triple heart bypass cookie.

in 2008, enidd and the man returned to england alone. the only* rule of this blog is that we never mention 2008.

back in blighty with no money, they spent a winter on a narrow boat, but when some cash came in, moved to poshly-on-thames, poshfordshire. they spent a year or so in dettlehead, a village outside town, but are now in another rented house, a scruffy terrace which hasn’t had new carpets since it was built in 1765.

enidd shares her life with a cast of tens, including her family:

  • the man: her husband of sixteen years. bald as a coot, and emits a similar piping noise in times of stress.
  • vera-lynn, enidd’s mum, who hasn’t really come to terms with the 21st century.
  • sir humphrey. enidd’s dad, who used to run the country and doesn’t read this nonsense.
  • eric: enidd’s younger brother. moored up on a very long boat in the fens with his wife, ginny, and her mother.
  • uwmil: enidd’s unstereotypically wonderful mother-in-law. a retired teacher.
  • tease: the man’s older sister, who doesn’t look like him at all, and it’s not only because she has lady bosoms. also a teacher.
  • gared: tease’s husband. shares a penchant for amaretto with the man. yet another a teacher
  • gale: the man’s brother’s wife. do you see a pattern yet? she’s a teacher.
  • rickroll: the man’s brother, who looks like him but printed at 150%. not a teacher!

and some of her friends in blighty:

  • dick: great admirer of margaret thatcher and not at all socialist. never argumentative either.
  • berri: dick’s partner. busy.
  • captain birds eye: now retired from the river and living in a big sprawling, secret mansion in dettlehead. good with people (which is a rarity among enidd’s nerd friends)
  • muff: captain birds eye’s number 1. party chef and private ranter. shares enidd’s love of fizz.
  • ironman: the man’s best mate since they were both 7. now ridiculously fit and with a body fat percentage that makes enidd weep and the man just try harder.
  • ironwoman: ironman’s partner. exercises 100 hours a week so that she can eat fish and chips at the weekend.

*though positive comments about cadbury’s creme eggs are frowned upon.



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